do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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