Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
