I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
