I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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