moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
