My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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