Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
