The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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