fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
