Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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