Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
