got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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