They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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