Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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