make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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