but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize