hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
