Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Who died my cat blue again?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
