I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
