I wanna bring you to show and tell
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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