This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
