just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
