meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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