you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
NoShamevember. You game?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
These tits shall not be calmed
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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