forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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