Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
