garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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