i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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