There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
