no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
