sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
