the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Randomize
