we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
