Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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