a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize