no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
