all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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