plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
