He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
