I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
