She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i came on her dog
they're like a gay fantastic four
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
