508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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