i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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