All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
