Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I had to cum in my sink.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
