So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
