dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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