D3 body, D1 cock
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
