So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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