I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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