I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
