but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
