He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
