Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize