We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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