Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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