Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize