y did u give ur computer a hand job?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
