so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
