So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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