We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
