OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
