I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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