Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
