operation have a gay friend backfired
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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