it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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