shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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