she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
