suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
